The bobcat holocaust
Around 2:00 am, I heard a violent rustling of feathers and stepped outside to see what was the matter; seeing nothing but a spooked rooster, I stepped back inside.
That quietude I experienced was, it turns out, mortal: a bobcat had massacred my chickens for sport, leaving the cock intact. I discovered this when there appeared the apparition of a levitating chicken on the lawn which, upon closer inspection, was suspended in the maw of its ailuroid plunderer.
Deliberating between my sword and shotgun; I equipped myself with Andúril, sword of Aragorn, and advanced on the beast: who nevertheless scaled the seven foot wall, chicken in mouth.
The unwived cock, in the meantime, had taken to consorting with dogs; but eventually leapt the wall himself in pursuit of the neighbor’s hens, only to be rebuffed by his rival: the neighbor’s cock.
This sole cock, bloodied and henless, is not himself.